Lately my daughter ask me to write my Memoire. That song from Bill Gaither encapsule well the main team of my memoire. It’s about my Journey with God.
Something beautiful, something good All my confusion He understood All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife But he made something beautiful of my life
If there ever were dreams That were lofty and noble They were my dreams at the start And hope for life’s best were the hopes That I harbor down deep in my heart But my dreams turned to ashes And my castles all crumbled, my fortune turned to loss So I wrapped it all in the rags of life And laid it at the cross.
Am I ready to love God above everything else? Above my passions, my possessions, even my own family? Here is an excellent devotion written by Hannah Whitall Smith. It reminds me of the story when God ask Abraham to offer his own son Isaac (Genesis 22).
The Lord has shown me another step. Today the question has been presented to me whether I would be willing to lose my darling child, my little daughter Mary, for the sake of the revelation of the Lord Jesus Himself to me. It was a battle, but my Saviour has triumphed. It came simply to this point, Would I keep my daughter, and remain a cold and lukewarm Christian all my life, living at a distance from my Saviour, and unbaptized by His Spirit; or, would I give her up, that I might see Him in His beauty, and know Him to dwell in my heart in all His fullness.
Thanks be unto His Name, He has worked in me to choose the latter! I desire Him even more than I desire my precious, my darling daughter! And now surely the last link to earth is broken, for, without my daughter, life would be desolate indeed. I am wholly the Lord’s now.
Oh what hinders Him from blessing me! Still I wait and pray that He will reveal Himself that He will baptize me with the Holy Ghost!
—Journal, April 22, 1868
Hannah Whitall Smith and Melvin Easterday Dieter, The Christian’s Secret of a Holy Life: The Unpublished Personal Writings of Hannah Whitall Smith (Oak Harbor: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1997).
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As much as I have objected to it and disapproved of it in the past, I have been brought to the point of entire consecration. I find that the soul which wants to live the life hid with Christ in God must be entirely given up to Him—and definitely given up too. I must present my body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto Him, which is my reasonable service. And I do! Lord Jesus, here and now I definitely yield myself up unreservedly to you. All that I have and all that I am, both now and in the whole future of my life, I lay upon your altar. Everything is yours, and I am yours to follow you wherever you may lead me. Oh Lord Jesus, let this be a reality! Bring this consecration about in me and through me, and keep it. You know my utter weakness, and to you I commit myself in this. Oh I ask you, let me never, never, never, draw back from the transaction of this moment. Let me never for a moment take back the slightest thing of all I have now consecrated or surrendered to you. Make it a reality. —Hannah Whitall Smith, Journal, March 30, 1868